How have I come to this place? I walk through the streets to the well with this baby, my son, toddling behind me and we are shunned.
These people are family. They were friends.
As a child I learned to cook, and weave and sew alongside of them.
As a girl I learned to love Yahweh through his word shared to all of us… collectively ….by our mothers, aunts, grandmothers.
I learned what it meant to be called “betrothed” next to girls who saw what an honest and good man Joseph was.
But that was long ago. It seems as if a lifetime has passed by, a river of time and a flood of circumstances carving a gorge of separation between us and them. And now it is because of this amazing, dark eyed, curly haired, chubby cheeked, blessing from God we are rejected. The very same condition caused them to celebrate with Elizabeth. You would think that a baby regardless of his beginning would be reason to rejoice. He causes ME delight! When I look into his face, I cannot help but fall helplessly into his gaze. It is there that I am reminded of the looming task of raising, teaching, training him to be a good, man, husband, father. That is what God has asked of me, a mother.
I am only rudely reminded of our beginning together when the mask of shame is shoved into my hand by these women & men who refuse to acknowledge the omniscience of Yahweh.
He is THE Lord!
He parted the sea and Israel cross on dry land.
He rained manna from heaven and fed a nation for 40 years on the bread of his breath.
He planted His son in my belly before a man ever crossed the threshold of me. Why?
Why did he choose me?
Why can they not believe?
Why can I not imagine life without Him?
I wear the mask of shame given me but I know, in the deepest places of my soul, I am not what they claim.
I am not deserving of the spit that flies,
the accusations that are hurled,
the names they pin to my life or the life of my son.
So we… knowing & trusting Jehovah Jirah…. endure.
We take refuge in the arms of a good man, the husband and father the Lord has provide for us.
I take refuge in the shelter of The Most High God knowing His plan for us is so much greater than ours for ourselves.
I take refuge in the peace of trusting the Word of God above the words of man. And this mask is simply an accessory I refuse to embrace. My Lord and my God defines me not this mask.
I have given Him my life, and His son…. what more could there be?
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