Walking through the street of this city is exhausting. They think they know me. But how could they? Honestly I don’t even think I know myself.
I am a daughter, a sister, a niece.
A neighbor, one nobody wants to acknowledge.
A business owner, an Inn keeper, and yes, a woman.
But that is different from who they see when I walk through the streets.
They see a harlot, a whore draped with beautiful clothing purchased with money their officials, their priests, their husbands paid me in the dark of the night.
And why shouldn’t I wear the dress & jewels I can afford? I earned it, both the money and their scorn. At least I am honest about who I am. Their contempt no longer bothers me. Their hypocrisy, however, that is a source of the pain.
I wear scarlet not because they don’t know how I am, but to remind them that I am here, a part of their lives. Regardless of their hatred, I wear scarlet because of them.
I wasn’t born into this life. I once was just like them a babe, a toddler, we played together.
A girl serving her mother alongside of them … but always beautiful and fragile. Beauty is my curse and it is that beauty which keeps food on the tables of my family. It has provided for us handsomely, with this house, this place of rest for travelers. And those travelers are willing to pay for the comfort that only comes in the arms of a woman.
There is something else that comes with exhausted foreigners, information. I have been educated far greater than those who sit in the seats of authority, because I listen. The dark and warm place of intimacy frees hearts and lips to share of wonders and amazements from faraway lands. This is the priceless part of my life. I have something no one else in this wretched town has and something they all need. When demand exceeds supply…. the broker can set the price.
As I walked through the streets today hiding behind the mask of a prostitute, I could not shake the feeling of being followed. But it was bright daylight and no one in this town, man or woman would dare approach me without the cover of night.
When I entered the safety of my home in the wall of the city, I was able to take down my mask and loosen the scarlet cord and lift my head high to see the sun raining though the walls that had become my prison. Basking in the rays of the light, I felt as if arms wrapped around me. Standing there in the sun and I heard my name spoken sweetly, deep within my depths, spoken as I had never heard it before…. But I was alone.
I stood up straighter, the hair standing up on my neck. What was this… this feeling of peace surrounding me? Then the words that came filled my senses like nothing I’d ever experienced, “Rahab, you are my beauty…. unmasked beauty.”
“Your … beauty?” My words were halting and fearful and… and disbelieving as the flood gates of my heart burst open.
“Yes.” His words were so pleasant. So unlike anything I’d ever heard before! “People see your beauty on the outside,” He said, “but I want what you hold deep within. Inside is your life source – your soul – that’s what I’m after. Will you give it to me?”
And as I knelt in the light before Yahweh, the Lord God I had only ever heard about in the dark, my eyes were opened. Before Him, I saw that I had value. I was worth something to Him! He… wanted… me! He did not want me for what I could give him but for me alone! My response was a heart bursting with wanting to give Him something. To give back to Him who found me with a scarlet cord wrapped around my life, hiding behind a mask of shame. I will find a way to honor Him, for taking my mask….. I have given Him my life but there must be more….
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