Beloved

Try to follow this line of thinking...

I have a friend whose husband is incarcerated. Never mind the circumstances that is not the important part, but what is important is this story she shared with me.  I can't get it out of my head, or the ideas that it produced, so I am sharing it with you..... (Lucky! Lucky!)  But first, some background information...

My friend & her husband have been married for a significant period of time.  They have a relationship not because they share the same space (like many in this culture) but in spite of being separated.  They communicate daily but that communication does not have immediate results, many times because it is written communication.  Yet, they are faithful to correspond with each other daily.  They have a weekly telephone conversation and a bi-weekly visit with each other, that they take full advantage of.  They know each other.  I think they may actually know each other better than some spouses who live together know each other. 

So, now the story....

The husband was in a situation that concerned the wife.  She shared her concerns with her husband but he seemed unfazed with her concerns.  In her wisdom, the wife began praying for God to intervene without her intervention.  After several months of prayer the situation was resolved without another word being spoken between the spouses.  During the next visit couple had, the husband mentioned the situation and said to the wife "You were praying for that solution, weren't you?"  The wife answered, "Yes. How did you know?" The husband simply answered, "I know my wife." and the topic was abandoned.

Now, I have not been able to think of much else lately except this scenario.  This story for me was an amazing example of our relationship with God.  We have a relationship with God and we communicate with him daily, sometimes we "visit" him with a deep study of His Word.  Sometimes we get a "phone call" from him when we spend time in fasting and prayer.  But we know each other.  We may not ever get to put our arms around God.  He may seem to be separated from us but we have access to Him.  But even more importantly because we cultivate a relationship with Him, we know Him.  But most importantly, He knows us!  

He knows you.  Let that sink in for a moment.  

He knows what you struggle with, what you need, why your hearts ache.  He knows what makes you laugh.  God knows you and desires to spend time with you. It is not a one time event.  It is the cultivation of a relationship.  When you know someone intimately, you long to be with the one you love.  Jesus longs to be with you.  You are His Beloved.  Everything He did was for you...

"The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."  ~Jeremiah 31.3

On sadness...

So I have been reflecting over the past few days about those whom I have lost.  Maybe it is because of the reality of human mortality that I have been reminded of lately.  

I was talking with a friend last week. She is struggling with the death of a friend who was only 19 years old. They were childhood friends and now she is gone. My friend is sad.  

I went the funeral of one of my dad's cousins.  I think I had met her when I was a child.  I have pictures of her children when they were young, but now they are older, and their mom is gone. They are sad.  

My godfather was there.  It was his sister who died..  I haven't seen him for years but he was just as sweet and generous with his love then as he was when as a child I used to climb into his huge lap.  He is sad.  

And I am hurting for them, but you just can't take grief from someone.  I can sit with someone in the midst of it, I can put my arm around them, I can share the technicalities of the grief process with them so they knows what to expect, but ultimately each one must dance alone with sadness. The funny thing about this partner is that it is no respecter of person, gender, race, or social status.  Sadness won't engage with you, it simply envelopes those who grieve and becomes part of that life.  

Sadness never really goes away.  It becomes part of your life.  Like your hair, you live with it, some days you notice it and other days you realize that you haven't really even thought about it in several days.  It never really leaves but it does go through a morphing process.  When the raw newness of grief is soften by time, we are able to peel back the rough edges to reveal the bittersweet within, the bittersweet of the memories of sparkling laughter, soft kisses, soulful looks. It is then that we are able to revisit those we have loved without experiencing the sharpness of the loss. 

As I have been thinking about my own waltz with grief.  The music of loss still brings me to the phone to call my dad, even after eight years of saying goodbye.  And as I reach to dial I realize that there is no longer a number where I can reach him.  And I take another spin around the floor of my reality.

Yesterday, I took my mom to the hospital.  I have convalesced her through many medical issues in the past, but this was different.  I heard a whisper of the sadness that is eminent in my life when she is gone.  I am preparing myself for that dance which will leave me orphaned, even at my age.  Mum is home today.  She will make a full recovery, but the entire event, regardless of how minor, gave me pause.

I am thankful I have the Comforter to fill me today and tomorrow as I face the things of this life. I am blessed to have others who are willing to sit with me as I dance to the dirge of loss and I am thankful I have been given a heart that is willing to sit with others while they dance. 

Jesus wept. So should we allow ourselves and others.

In the Dust of the Rabbi~

Christy  

 

A Stream of Worship Thoughts

I was thinking about a demonstration I saw about 8 years ago about being filled with the Holy Spirit.  The speaker took a glass and filled it with water representing the Holy Spirit in a believer's life. When we are filled only partially with the God's presence we can bump into virtually anyone without spilling anything on us or them. BUT, when we are filled to capacity with the abundance of God then it is highly unlikely that we can even make the least little bit of contact with others without God spilling out of us.  

That's the kind of person I strive to be.


Now fast forward to this morning.  I was thinking about being filled in general.  If I am filled with so many things that there is no room for God. I was thinking of it this way, if I have a glass of iced tea and I want lemonade, I can't simply add lemon juice.  If I did simply add lemon juice to my tea, I would have lemon flavored tea, not lemonade. It's the same with God.  I can add him to my life but then I merely have a life with a little God in it.  Not exactly the abundance scripture promises, is it?

If I want pure lemonade in my glass, I need to empty it completely so that I can have a lemon treat in it's purest form, unadulterated. Empty.  That is what I need to be if I am to allow God's Holy Spirit fill my life in His purest form.  Abundant life guided by God.  

So, I went to the alter this morning to share my heart for revival, with a kindred spirit, my sister in Christ.  There we emptied ourselves in order to make room for God to take up residence in our hearts, and minds, and lives, not merely to flavor what we currently have but to have the abundance of God pure in our lives.  
 

Then the thought came to me, the alter in Old Testament was the place of sacrifice and death.  It was where Abraham was asked to take the life of Issac.  It was where the temple priests would offer the atonement for sin for the entire nation of Israel.  It was where the Lamb of God would become the final and substitutionary sacrifice for the entire world for all time.  

So, why then do we use the alter in modern worship gatherings? It really is not so much different between the alter of days gone by and today.  When we approach the alter today many times it is with a request for God to perform some life altering action in our lives.  But if we were to be honest with ourselves, we are living a God flavored life.  

If we were to approach the alter as a place of death and resurrection then the results might be quite different.  If my life is God centered, abundant with Him and empty of me, then as I find an area of my life that is not submitted to God, I would be able to approach the alter with the desire to crucify that area so that God could resurrect himself in that area.  The alter has not changed throughout history.  It is a place of sacrifice.  When we are willing to sacrifice that which God asks of us, then we can be assured of His promise to fill us with more than we could dream or imagine.  


I could go on, but for now... just some food for thought.  
Something to chew on....

Happy Birthday

I was thinking this morning how one day in history can change a life completely.  On this day in my life in 1995 my life changed drastically, forever.... and for the better.  Today is the 17th anniversary of the birth of my first child.  Culturally, she is the one who celebrates her birthday, but as my sweet cousin reminded me, we moms are the ones who should celebrate the births of our children.  Maybe that's why many moms (like me!) tend to make a big deal about birthdays.  They are a reminder for us of some of the most significant times in our lives, some of the most joyous, and so we celebrate.

Following the greatest birth celebration in the history of all time (Christmas), Danetta's birthday is merely a twinkle.  But I am convinced that God has a plan for her life, just as He had for Jesus, although not as eternity altering, significant nonetheless.  So, today we celebrate the birth of princess Danetta Lillian Gift, heir to the King of King and blessed daughter of the Lord Jesus. Daniel, Dave & I are blessed beyond measure to be given the awesome privilege of parenting her through this world.

So happy birthday wishes to one of the greatest "Gift's" God has ever blessed me with!  It is hard to believe that we have journeyed this life together for 17 years! Be blessed baby! You have more than blessed me! I can't wait to see where God takes you in the next 17 years.

I love you, Mama

New things

So, Dave asked me the other day if I had written anything on my blog lately.  Now I know he isn't tech savvy, so I should not have been surprised by his question.  But the rest of you may have noticed that there has not been a post since the originals back in August.  I have no excuse. But Dave's question re-ignited a desire to post so here it is, although random as it may be.

Focusing on new things in not hard at this time of the year. My list of new for the holiday looks like this...  The kids have new toys, games and stuff.  Even we adults have a few new things to occupy us.  I woke this morning to a new fallen snow on the ground that it seems everyone was clamoring for over the past few weeks. There were even a few new experiences over the holiday, like a boyfriend to share our daughter with.   A friend had a new baby and my sister has a new relationship.  And the most obvious, over the weekend, we rang in the new year.  But it got me to thinking, why do we wait for this time of the year to celebrate the new?

New things happened all throughout 2011 but with not quite the same fan fair as the past few weeks.  Let's recap those things as well, shall we?  This is what my new list of 2011 looks like....  I became the mother of a 16 yrs old (Ugh, am I really that old?!?), I tried my hand at match making (with mixed results.) I became an ordained pastor, went on my first missions trip, and graduated from college with a bachelor's degree.  It is not an exhaustive list but it's mine.   Maybe yours is not as long or maybe more difficult, but it is yours.  Think about it.  What new things happen to you in 2011?

Good or bad, we need to thank God for them.  It is those experiences which mold and shape us into the more perfect beings God created us to be.  This may be one of the most difficult things we do but it can be done.  Even more importantly may be the ability to embrace those new things that will continue to assault us simply by virtue of being alive.    So, my next question then is, what new experiences are you expecting to experience in the coming year?  Are you ready?  Have you positioned yourself to receive what it is that God will send your way?  No, we may not know exactly what that is or when it will come but we can be prepared, like the wise virgins in Matthew 25. 

If you have heard the voice of God, if He has spoken to you about His calling on your life, then you need to prepare yourself the best you can, to move forward in that calling.  He has spoken to me.  He has revealed His calling for my life to me, and so this year I will prepare to receive His new movement in my life.  I intend to be intentional about preparing myself for the fruition of His promises in my life. I invite you to hold me accountable, I welcome it.  

He will do many, many new things in our lives if we allow Him.  My life verse for 2012 is 

Isaiah 43.19 "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."  

I invite you to join me in following the beautiful feet of the Rabbi Jesus close enough to be covered in His dust in order to see the new things he will do in my life and yours!